The Bloomer Suit

The Society for Post-Millenial Dress Reform

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Jess keeps freaking out about money, and I do get it; it’s uncomfortable to be this broke and it’s worrisome in many ways. We have less than $200 in the bank at the moment.

But I get paid next week, and Jess is starting an unexpected summer job too, and we paid August’s rent in advance because we knew this was coming. None of our bills are due until August 12th anyway, and we have food in the cupboards, so as long as we’re careful not to trigger another auto-deposit on our bus passes, we’re fine.

I forget a lot that Jess hasn’t lived with this kind of poverty, the waiting-on-the-first poverty, which has you kiting a check or waiting by the ATM at midnight or calling in to the Health and Human Services hotline to see if they deposited your money yet. (I wonder what the new method is, since it’s been six years since I used public benefits - do they do texts now?) I mean, she has, but sort of like me in the car while Mom ran her card in the ATM over and over again waiting for the balance to change, she hasn’t known it. I was just on an interesting adventure that ended with Oreos; Jess just had a cranky wife who was saying no to fun things and then suddenly started saying yes again.

I feel guilty a lot for being the cause of Jess’s poverty. I mean, not really. I suspect her parents would have cut her off financially soon anyway, I just happened to show up on the scene. As soon as Jess came out, she knew what was going to happen. But, I was there, and they hate me, and I couldn’t always make up the difference. That didn’t bother me as much when I knew I was working as hard as I could (60+ hours a week) but now that I’ve taken a step back to this new job, and I am consciously choosing to work less, this makes me feel bad.

Because I felt guilty, I never pushed Jess on this before, and now she’s having to deal with it and basically grow up - fast. And I don’t really know how to be sympathetic for that. I keep telling her we’ve been here before, and I think she takes that as a criticism of her past obliviousness; I suppose there is some of that, but mostly I just mean to point out that this isn’t new and we’ll be okay. But that isn’t very comforting in the first wave of anxiety, and I don’t know what else to say to her.

I do, however, know how to make some poverty meals that don’t taste like poverty meals, and how to ask the deli guy for the ends of the meat and cheese that was over the weight, so we’re going to be okay, and once this week of stress is over, maybe even better before because we’re all out in the open with each other about these issues.

Jess’s biometrics appointment is on the 30th as well. Immigration is moving on!

49,419 notes

If you struggle with self-care and see this, stop what you’re doing

rosecoveredtardis:

  • Have you eaten in the last 4ish hours?
  • Have you had something to drink today?
  • Can you have something, even if just milk or water or cup’o’noodles or toast with something yummy on it, if you haven’t, please? 
  • If you have any injuries, can you please take care of them for me
  • Also please take any meds if you should and haven’t, yet?

Whatever you have or haven’t done today just know you’re super strong and I am so proud of you

Okay you can go back to blogging now~ <3

(via shamelesslyunladylike)

972 notes

sourcedumal:

thisiswhitehistory:

Day 4 of White History Month: Criminalizing Blackness, Part 3 - Blackness as Criminality, Whiteness as Virtue and Innocence

[TW: rape]

[Images: “Criminal Penalties by Race in Virginia” from The Color of Crime, Amnesty USA [x], “Report on Stand Your Ground Laws Highlight Racial Disparities”]

“Whiteness” was created in opposition to “blackness,” in comparison to which it was not only different but quite superior. Indeed, from the seventeenth century forward black women, men, and children were “constructed as lazy, ignorant, lascivious, and criminal; Whites as industrious, knowledgeable, virtuous, and law-abiding.” - Joe Feagin, Racist America

While Black Americans have been cast as criminals and sentenced unfairly throughout history, this is not only a result of the strict criminal justice system in the United States. Black Americans have rarely been considered legitimate victims, even in a legal sense; white Americans have benefitted from this. Many white Americans who are viewed in a positive light today, including the Founders and many Presidents of the United States, are celebrated for the unspeakable acts they committed.

Criminal Justice

In nearly all cases of white racial mob violence and lynching of Black Americans, no one was punished. The victim simply died “at the hands of persons unknown." despite the fact that the perpetrators were often known (and police officers were often involved in this mob violence themselves). Lynching was extremely common, yet efforts to pass anti-lynching laws were ignored by white congressmen and when introduced, failed. When the victims were Black, and particularly when the perpetrators were white, legal interventions were virtually unheard of.

Sexual Violence

During slavery, Black women were considered unrapeable: white men could rape Black women without punishment. Black men could rape Black women with no punishment except in cases where a Black woman was injured severely enough to prevent work. The unpunished rape of Black women was not limited to Southerners, as Northern soldiers during the Civil War also sexually assaulted Black women. This continued after slavery, all while a Black man could be lynched for (fabricated) rationalizations of protecting white womanhood.

An accurate account of historical sexual violence during slavery would be that of the white male rapist and Black female victim (and occasionally white women implicating innocent Black men). Instead, the stereotypes that emerged (and continued on today) are those of the Jezebel, the Black male rapist, and the virtuous, chaste white woman. 

For many years, Black women could not be considered victims of rape. White men continued to assault Black women. Unlike white women, Black women largely worked outside the home and were vulnerable to assault by both white male employers and white supremacist groups such as the KKK.

Media

In The Birth of a Nation, racial oppression was glorified. White supremacists, particularly the KKK, were turned into heroes. Black people were reduced to harmful anti-Black stereotypes in order to justify white supremacy.

Contemporary Examples

Criminal Justice

Black women are sexually assaulted at a higher rate than white women. When Black women are sexually assaulted and the case is reported and goes to trial, white juries and judges do not take it seriously. As a result, rapists of Black women received lighter sentences than when the victims are white. Additionally, the testimony of Black female rape victims is taken less seriously than that of white rape victims.

The majority of death row defendants have been convicted for murdering white victims even while Black Americans make up approximately half of homicide victims.

Stand Your Ground

Stand Your Ground laws have resulted in cases with white murderers and Black victims being ruled as justifiable homicides. Much of the focus in these cases was not on the adult white men who had murdered, but on the character of the victims.  The recent case of Trayvon Martin is an example of this - even when the white offender has a criminal history, he is privileged over a Black victim. The focus shifted to make Zimmerman’s murder of Trayvon Martin appear as justifiable or even as beneficial. Similarly, Michael Dunn murdered Jordan Davis after he refused to turn down his music. There is no situation in which this would be acceptable, yet the jury could not even decide on a murder charge.

In many publicized cases where white men killed innocent Black victims, the police were hesitant to even pursue the criminal, and the prosecution was not eager to proceed. Many white Americans instead suggested to focus on “Black-on-Black” crime. White supremacist groups and even conservative commentators took this a step further by suggesting that white victims of Black crime are overlooked.

Compare these cases to that of Marissa Alexander - a Black woman who fired warning shots in self-defense and injured no one - and the racial differences are clear.

Media

"Looking first at race of alleged perpetrators, we find approximately an equal number of Blacks and Whites (173 versus 179). At one level this equivalence seems reasonable, since Blacks do commit crime far in excess of their population proportions. At another, however, representing Blacks far more often in criminal roles than Whites effectively makes them into symbols of threat. A related signal arises from the portrayal of victims. By a 1.5:1 (241 to 160) ratio, White victims outnumbered Blacks in news reports—even though Blacks in Chicago and most core cities are more likely to be victimized. Another way of comparing news of victimization is length of time devoted to the story: the average story featuring Black victims was 106 seconds long; those featuring White victims, 185 seconds long. Using total story time as a measure, the ratio of time spent on White victims to that on Blacks exceeded 3:1. - Robert M. Entman and Andrew Rojecki, The Black Image in the White Mind
Thus, the more socially valuable the “players” in a crime story are, the more newsworthy the story is. The factors associated with finding a “good” crime story result in the devaluation and invisibility of many victims. Media researchers Carolyn Byerly and Karen Ross point out, “As with other kinds of crime reporting, issues of gender are further complicated by issues of race.” Not only are marginalized and disenfranchised female victims deemed less interesting than white middle-class women (meaning that their victimizations receive less news coverage), but the media also depict them in stereotypically unflattering ways (i.e., black women as “Jezebels”) and project blame and culpability onto them. Michelle L. Meloy and Susan L. Miller, The Victimization of Women: Law, Policies, and Politics

Note that first pic. Death to a Black perp for any and all crimes, except for raping a black woman tho. Then its no crime for the most part..

(via lesbipocalypse)

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I’m still obsessing about moving, and I can’t decide how to weight the pros and cons. It’s not moving far - just across the city - but it seems really big.

Pros to staying put:

  1. Affordable rent
  2. Nice apartment with good layout
  3. Close to good part of lake
  4. Gay-friendly neighborhood
  5. Walkable neighborhood
  6. No moving costs

Cons to staying put:

  1. 3-hour round trip commute a day for both of us
  2. Negative political message (living outside the south side while working there)
  3. Leaving the cats alone for 12 hours five days a week

Pros to moving:

  1. Cut commute in half
  2. Good political message

Cons to moving:

  1. Gay-unfriendly neighborhood
  2. Not walkable
  3. Food desert
  4. Still leaving cats alone all day
  5. Moving costs
  6. Rent is more expensive

Okay, so it does seem like the cons would outweigh the pros, but they just don’t in my head! It comes out about equal and I don’t know what do do!

3 notes

After these ten days of training I have had to face the fact that I will need to move. We really will have to leave our happy favorite wonderful neighborhood with the gay clubs and farmer’s market and lesbian moms and beach access. I am miserable.

But I’m totally in to corporate culture now, let’s DO this.

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Logan Airport has the weirdest piped music. Right now it’s Sarah McLachlan “Adia” and before that it was “Cheeseburger in Paradise” and I can’t deal with the emotional whiplash.